Commitment to Joy: My Wife Approves of My Wandering Eye


My wife has encouraged my wandering eye for years.

Yes, I admit it, I am constantly checking out other women as they pass by, and even once in a while mistaken my wife for someone I didn’t recognize (as you may have read what I wrote a few weeks ago, that went viral and was completely a surprise to us – you can read it HERE).

I’m surprised people are shocked by this fact, as I think every man in the world does this, but perhaps in a different way.

It all started when my wife and I first got married, she really began noticing that I did this, and then saw the profound result of it. For example, I remember the first time she caught me giving a compliment to a pregnant mother-to-be at Church. I told this woman how beautiful she looked as an angel bearing a heaven sent child, as I could tell she didn’t feel as such that day, and how this brightened her eyes and made her smile. My wife at first said I can’t say those things to married women, and then she realized it was my way of making others feel better about themselves, in all honesty and sincerity, and she has encouraged it ever since.

And no, it doesn’t stop there.

I do the same thing to people I pass on the street, at a store, working the toll booths, looking for any way possible to encourage, uplift, and bring light to their day. Whether it be as simple as a smile, a hi-five, or a compliment about their cool braids or amazing service, doesn’t matter who it is, age, race, and even gender, I am in search of these people everywhere I go. My wandering eye is constantly in search of making eye contact with every person I pass. Not in a creepy way like Tim Curry in “It”, Jack Nicholson in “The Shining”, or a Raptor ready to pounce on anyone who looks my way, but with a pleasant profile accepting of any glance my direction.

The trend is to look away when someone is looking at us, to look at the ground, or the phone, and ignore the people passing by. I make it a point to try to make eye contact with human beings walking my way, whom I may likely never see again, to enjoy the beauty of every person, to acknowledge light wherever it shines, and wow what a life it is! I have friends everywhere I go!

It has only gotten me in real trouble once, while in a Kuwait airport, on my way to performing for the U.S. Troops in wartime Afghanistan, I walked over to a woman with her children and began speaking with her about her darling kids, when out of nowhere multiple men came running at me, yelling it is illegal to talk to the women, and threatening me, as I was whisked away by military personnel and scolded for talking to this mother and her cute children. Didn’t know it was against the law! Woah!

One of my favorite practices is to seek out the eyes of men at the store with crying babies in their arms, those Dads who struggle and I can tell are flustered and embarrassed. One quick head nod, or knowing eyebrow lift with a smile, and I can see the Dad visually change that he realizes another guy knows what he’s going through and commend him for his efforts.

Another effort is acknowledging the homeless man on the street, who instead of passing as if they’re not there, if we connect through eye contact and a soft expression of tenderness, can lift my day and his.

When I see a man that is buff I go right up, grab his shoulders, and say, “Bro! Someday I will be this yolked! Congrats on your dedication to becoming Zeus!” As strangers we laugh, him shocked I’d say what everyone else is thinking, and we are instant pals.

In fact, yesterday the lovely Hawaiian lady making our snow cones said, “I’m happy to make this for your family, as long as you’ll sing to me!” She got a whole show! Hahahaha.

I love when we are connected and others look for love and light equally.

So yes, I completely and unashamedly admit it, I’m the husband and man with the wandering eye, doesn’t matter if it’s married women, flustered Dads, or anyone really. And my wife trusts me 100% with my wandering eye, as I travel the world, spreading my own version of joy, my attempt at lifting the human race, one smile, encouragement, and compliment at a time.

Questions of the Day:

What level of connection on a higher level do we have with the world, those we pass on a daily basis, and how do we give love wherever we are?

And can we trust ourselves, and be trusted, to be faithful to both our mission to spread love and our loved ones back home with our wandering eye?

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